Month: April 2020

These Walls

When a good thing goes bad, it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the end of a world.” – Drake (Doing It Wrong)

The easiest thing to put up is a wall.

It’s natural and logical. It’s purely human to put up walls after a bad experience.
Whether these experiences are direct or not.

A concerned parent repeatedly warns a kid not to play with fire so they don’t get burnt.
If they chose to listen, they don’t get burnt. If they don’t, they get burnt, but the result is they will never look at fire the same way again.

The same thing happens if they see someone getting burned.

It is seared into their memory forever.

These things change who we are.

It’s easier to have a different orientation about walls like the first child. But the second child has a battle to face throughout their lives.

They never want to get burnt again ever again.

Every single one of us is the second child.

In different instances, we’ve gone from putting up walls to protect ourselves to putting up walls that block the light from entering into our lives.

Instead of protecting and shielding ourselves, we end up closing ourselves from the world.

From others.

From many with bad intentions, yeah.

But also from many with pure intentions too.

It’s a stuff of irony.

A wall goes from protecting you to locking you in.

Of course, experience is a good teacher.

But experience also comes with trauma.

And it’s a good thing until the light of love and adventure is fizzled out of your life.

You go from living life with the enthusiasm of a child to the pessimism of an adult.

It’s hard feeling this way.

But it’s harder knowing you could feel differently if only you let yourself to.

If only you could let someone else to…

lf only…

Coping With Corona III

You’re the change, you’re the hope, you’re the miracle/You’re all the strength you need in times unbearable” – MI (Epic)

Everything happening in the world right now feels so alien.

We’ve never had to experience such perilous times in all our combined lifetimes. It’s so novel. And we all know what comes with novelty.

Uncertainty. Resistance. Forced adjustment. Adaptation.

It’s even harder we have to experience this as a community but on individual fronts.

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed.

Recently, I have too.

But the greatest power of human beings is our ability to draw strength from a deep well within ourselves.

We mostly have no idea what we’re capable of until we’re pushed to the limit.

I felt it in my spirit to send out a beacon of love to you all. To tell you it’s okay, and it always gets better.

No matter how weak you feel, you’re all the strength you need. Even in unbearable times.

We’re here for all of us.

Ebonyi Versus Everybody

“fuck all that “Happy to be” here shit that y’all want me on” – Drake (Tuscan Leather)

Maybe when we are done with apologizing to Northerners for calling them ‘aboki‘ we’ll also apologize to Ebonyi people.

For every time they were used as a synonym for ignorance, backwardness, illiteracy, social awkwardness and suffer head.

For every time you said “na so Abakaliki people dey do” or “no-mind am, Abakaliki people no dey get sense.”

For every time someone was scolded and they were called ‘Abakalili person‘ or ‘onye Abakaliki‘ or ‘Ndi Abakaliki‘ or ‘Wawa‘ or ‘Nwa Aba

I’ve had people say things to me like “you don’t sound like ‘them’ or “you’re not like Ebonyi people” or “you no dey behave like them.”

And these same people expect me to feel privileged because according to them I’m different and not like ‘them’?

Who the fuck is ‘them’?

How are Ebonyi people like?

Andy Chukwu
ChaCha Eke
Priscilla Eleje
Uche Azikiwe
Ogbonnaya Onu
Chris Abani
Angela Okorie
Akanu Ibiam

These are all Ebonyi people.

And if you open your mouth to say they are anomalies or outliers, well…fuck you.

I’ve had friends and classmates say things like “You’re the smartest Ebonyi person I know” or “I know only two smart Ebonyi people, you and…
Then they go off and rattle some other person’s name.

Or the ones that would say “you know sey Ebonyi people no soji” 🤦‍♀️

Let’s not talk about the ones that told my mother that her only problem is she’s from Ebonyi. Like, what the hell???

I remember one time this Ebonyi girl told me “you don’t look like us.”

I cringe whenever I think about. I cry sometimes.

Driving through Lagos traffic every day and seeing Ebonyi kids my age or older racing through traffic and putting their lives in danger trying to make ends meet constantly reminds me of how privileged I am.

Reminds me of where I’m coming from and how much we are going through as a people.

A people plagued with economic hardship, extreme poverty, underutilized resources, stereotypes, lack of infrastructure, lack of access to education, black tax and ethnic barriers.

Some of you have no idea what money, exposure and a little guidance could do for one person, talk more of an entire community. Be grateful for what you have.

The only reason I have a degree today is because an Ebonyi man paid my fees.

Maybe it’s a chip on my shoulder, but don’t ever praise my intellect in one sentence and degrade Ebonyi people with the next sentence. If you do, I’ll say fuck you to your face.

Because it’s evident you’re painfully obtuse.

It’s even shameful you think I’m brilliant when you haven’t even met my sisters.

And if you are one of those girls I dated that told me I was lying when I said I’m from Ebonyi, fuck you too.

Christ has risen. Wash your hands. Stay safe. Happy Easter.

And by the way, from now on its #EbonyiVersusEverybody

Coping With Corona II

“...scared of the future, while I hopped in a DeLorean/scared to face the world” – Kanye West ( Good Morning)

Knock! Knock!! Knock!!!

Hey guys! How have you been coping with the forced lockdown worldwide?

I hope good though. Isolation is a crazy thing.

Been really good out here.

I mean, it’s funny and ironic how people all over the world are being forced to stay indoors. Lots of people complaining about adapting. While I’m here thinking, this is exactly how I’ve been living my life since God knows when.😭 Lol.

What’s your routine being like?

I’ve been mostly reading, working out, eating, sleeping and jumping on Twitter to laugh my heart out. A little writing here and there too.

People have become increasingly creative. And it’s being some serious fun. Somehow, the human mind always finds a way to cope.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately too. The mind has a way of drifting off in these uncertain times.

I know I should focus on surviving and getting through this period, but what happens if this goes on longer than anticipated?

Of course, somewhere along the way, we’ll defeat this. The truth is, the world as we’ve known it will never be the same again.

Most of the traditional models of work, play and relationships between people and between countries that we’ve become used to would change.

Cultures would shift dynamically.

This has always happened and it shouldn’t scare you. That is how man has constantly changed the world he lives in.

There’s a lot on my mind and time won’t permit me to share them all within the confines of this post.

So, hopefully, we’d talk about them in subsequent posts.

Have faith and be strong. It’s going to be a brave new world out there. I hope you get your mind ready for it.